How to Video-Chat with Grandchildren, Even If They Live Far Away

The technical part of a video call with a grandchild is straightforward — our video-calls guide covers WhatsApp, FaceTime, and Google Meet. The harder part is what to do when the connection is good and your five-year-old grandchild is hiding from the camera, or your twelve-year-old grandchild is texting under the table. This guide is about that — making a video call feel like a real visit, at every age, even from a thousand miles away.

For children under five

Young children don't sit still on a video call. The visit will work best if you keep it short and active. Five minutes is plenty; ten is wonderful.

What works:

• Sing a song together. Twinkle Twinkle, the Wheels on the Bus, anything with hand motions.
• Show a stuffed animal or pet. Bring your dog or cat into frame. Hold up a teddy bear and ask what colour it is.
• "Where am I now?" tour. Walk the phone around the room: "Here's grandpa's chair. Here's the kitchen. Here's the back yard."
• Mirror play. Stick out your tongue. Make a silly face. Toddlers will copy.

What doesn't: long questions ("how was your day?"), sustained eye contact, waiting for sentence-length answers.

For children five to eight

This age loves to show you things. Pre-empt their interests:

• "Will you show me your room?" They'll spend ten minutes giving you a tour.
• "What did you draw at school today?" They'll dig in their backpack for it.
• "What's your favourite show right now? Tell me what happens in it." They'll plot-summarise with full sound effects.
• "Will you teach me a dance?"

Avoid yes/no questions. "Did you have a good day?" — "yes" — silence. "What was the best thing that happened today?" — story.

For children nine to twelve

This age is the easiest. They have hobbies they want to talk about, books they've read, sports they're playing, video games they're obsessed with. Two tips:

• Ask about the specific thing, not the general category. "What level are you on in [game]?" not "do you still play video games?"
• Learn just enough to ask a follow-up. If they're obsessed with Minecraft, the next call ask "did you finish the build you were working on?" The smallest sign of interest does more than any sustained attempt to "understand kids today."

For teenagers

Teenagers are a different category. Don't take it personally if a video call with a teen feels short. Three things help:

• Text first. A teenager will text back; many won't pick up a video call unscheduled. A short text — "thinking of you — got a minute later?" — usually leads to a call within a day.
• Talk about something you both share. A book series, a TV show, a band, a sport, a college you both attended. The conversation works best when you have a real topic.
• Don't moralise. The teen years are short, and the grandparent who treats the teenager like a complete person is the grandparent the teenager calls in college.

A weekly routine that works

The single biggest predictor of whether a video call relationship works is consistency. The exact frequency matters less than the predictability. Sunday afternoon at 4 PM. Tuesday after dinner. Every other Saturday morning.

To set up a recurring call:

• Open the Calendar app.
• Create an event at the time you want — "Video call with [grandchild's name]."
• Set it to repeat weekly or fortnightly.
• Invite the parent (so it appears on their calendar too).

A recurring time relieves both sides of the "should I call?" friction. The call just happens.

Sharing what you can't show

Some of the best parts of a visit can't happen on a video call — playing a board game, baking a cake, going on a walk. Workarounds:

• Read a chapter book over multiple visits. Charlotte's Web takes about ten 20-minute calls and is wonderful at any age between six and ninety.
• Cook the same recipe at the same time. Both sides start with the ingredients listed. The grandchild can ask "what's the next step?" and you can answer. Eat the result together on a follow-up call.
• Send a photo album of "things you did this week" before the call. The call then becomes the conversation about the photos.
• Mail something physical between calls. A postcard, a comic strip clipped from the newspaper, a small drawing. Tactile mail is more memorable to a child than any video.

Frequently asked questions

Written by Margaret Holloway. Last verified 12 June 2026.